A Letter To The President

This is an email that I got from a friend when president Bush was still in office, but in this case it's directed to Obama.


Dear President Obama

I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the USA in to Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know that you can help me with this.


I plan to skip all of the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure that they can handle those things that same way we do here.


So would mind telling your buddy, President Felipe Calderon, that I'm on my way over? Please let them know that I will be expecting the following.


1.Free Medical Care

2.English speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them, or not.

3.All government forms must be printed in english.

4.I want my kids to be taught by English speaking teachers.

5.Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.

6.I want my kids to see the American flag flying on top of the flag pole with the Mexican flag flying lower at school.

7.Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.

8.I will need a local Mexican drivers license si I can get easy access to government services.

9.I do not plan to have any insurance, and I won't make a effort to learn the local driving laws.

10.In case one of the Mexican police officers doesn't get the memo from President. Calderon to leave me alone, please be sure to tell all police officers to kindly speak English.

11.I plan to fly the US flag from a pole on top of my house, put American flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints from the locals.

12.I would like to have a great job, and not have to pay any taxes, and please don't enforce any labor laws, or tax laws.

13.Please tell all of the people in the country to be extremely nice, and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain that I might place on the economy. I know that this is an easy request, because you all ready do all of these thing for people who come in to the US from Mexico. I am sure that President. Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

Thank you so much for all of your help.

A Legal US Citizen